Review: Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton
Release Date: November 27th, 2012 by Omnific Publishing
Details: 300 pages, paperback
Genre: Contemporary > Chick Lit
Source: Bought for Kindle
Find it: Amazon || Goodreads
Summary:

Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.

Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.

Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…

In her third novel, Alice Clayton returns to dish her trademark mix of silly and steamy. Banter, barbs, and strutting pussycats, plus the sexiest apple pie ever made, are dunked in a hot tub and set against the gorgeous San Francisco skyline in this hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.

I honestly don't know how to start this review lol. I totally bought this read on a whim and I'm so glad I did!  Wallbanger was such a great read. It was funny, the romance went from neighbors, to truce, to friends, to nooking (guys, I wanna nook with someone!) to dating. It was slow paced and I have to agree with Caroline Wallbanger Simon does make good woo. The woo-ing guys, the woo-ing! I was swooning along with the woo-ing!! The text messages, the banter, the trip to Lake Tahoe! Omgosh, this read was just amazing. I can't form coherent thoughts right now, I seriously can't.

The thing I liked about Caroline was that she wasn't your typical clueless protagonist. She loves her job, she loves her cat, she loves baking, she has friends and co-workers that love her but she's a little lacking in the romance and orgasm department. It's cool, it's normal. It happens from time to time. And the way she lost her "O" is totally relate-able. Just saying. And depressing. She kept Simon on his toes and I loved that! I loved how their friendship blossomed and how comfortable she got around Simon. Sure the little incident at Tahoe was a minor set back but I mean, who wouldn't react the way she did? As much as I wanted to shake her and scream THINK ABOUT IT the reaction was pretty justified so I couldn't be mad at her! 

Simon. Ohhh Simon. Where is there to not love about Simon? Seriously. The guy is a photographer, he's loaded (no, seriously), he's a sucker for baked goods (where can I find one of these men?), he collects sand from every beach he's traveled to, he can cook (cook ladies, the man rocks beds, woo's AND cooks?!) he apparently can make his bed rock but he's also lacking in the romance department but for a whole different type of reason. He's not great at doing the whole commitment thing (especially with the whole traveling for work thing) but for someone who isn't, he seems to know what he's doing even if he doesn't know what he's doing. He's a big softie for someone who can be infuriating (but aren't they all like that?!). The way he handled the "faking" situation was amazing. Just amazing! I was swooning the whole time even though I wanted to smack Caroline and force her to listen to him. And every time he called her "sweet Caroline" and the way he looked at her.... *swooooooooooon*

Like I mentioned, the romance was slow building and really really sweet. Utterly swoon-worthy! 

If you're looking for a mellow contemporary that'll make you laugh and swoon I highly, highly, highly suggest giving Wallbanger a try!

"And for the record, I'd rather staple my head to the wall than make magic with you again. You and me and your five-percent discount? Not going to happen. Bye-bye now," I said through clenched teeth and stalked out of the store.

"Too Short? Interesting selection. Not many women would have chosen this," he mused.

"What can I say? I'm feeling very Bay area tonight and I should tell you now, i am not like most women," I added, feeling another smile sneak across my face. [ props to both Caroline and the author and I guess Simon too for knowing who Too Short is! ]

"Peeling apples, just peeling apples. Didn't feel your boobs. No, no, not me," he chanted as I openly laughed at him.

Was there even a harem left?

What did this mean?

Would I only think in questions now?

And if so, who is Eric Cartman's father?

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I seriously marked about 10 pages worth of quotes on this book LOL I'm sure you guys don't want to see them all so I'll just stop now :P