It has come to my attention that I have been neglecting my blog for a bit of time. Last week it was because my mom decided to unpack my entire apartment which was in 3 large boxes before I could even wake up (so yes, waking up and seeing the contents of your apartment scattered EVERYWHERE in your parents house is not an ideal way of waking up). She seems to like to do this, you know, stress people out. So I spent most of last week finding my stuff, doing laundry, finding a place to put things (which currently is the floor) and trying not to go ape shit.
This week is slightly different, I was making calls and fixing things (like my student loan) and I had put off setting my dentist appointment for a few weeks. I need to have two cavities filled and if filling cavities means getting a shot in my mouth, I usually wait til like, I don't know, a year later. I don't have a phobia of needles, I get my blood drawn all the time (my mom is nuts). But when it comes to needles in my mouth, that's a different story.
My previous dentist did this thing, where he would flap my cheek while he was shooting my gums. Not only was this super uncomfortable and I wanted to be like "yo doc, the hell you doin" but it was also annoying. So one day, he's flapping my gums and he slips and he stabs the inside of my cheek. OHDEARGOD. I screamed and started bawling on the spot. And all he did was leave the room, he didn't apologize, he didn't do anything, he just left. His assistant was at my side in an instant (I love her, she was amazing) and she was hugging me and patting my hair down and talking to me. Eventually when he did return I was pissed (this was back when I was a teen and I was just a mess back then) and I was screaming at him. He honestly didn't seem to care that he just stabbed me. So the last time I went to him for a cavity filling was before Thanksgiving, years ago and I was freaking out. They tried everything; a blanket, laughing gas... I would still freak out and all he could say was "can we hurry this up, I have a long drive to make for Thanksgiving". Oh screw you!
Anyway, since then I've kinda had this strange phobia of needles in my mouth. Like I know not everyone will slip and stab me but as soon as that needle comes near my mouth I honestly just freak the hell out. I have a new dentist now who specializes in people scared of the dentist (and they are amazing and patient people) and I haven't had a cavity in 3 years but now, I do. And tomorrow is my appointment. And I am scared shitless. They are giving me Valium, which everyone is saying will calm me down, but I don't know. I hope they're right. I mean, I can't really be mad at myself, I did go 3 years with no cavities. I just wish, I dunno, there was a different way to do this? The cavity I mentioned earlier, they shot with this sand stuff to clean it out so I didn't need to be numbed. Apparently they can't do that this time :\
So this week I've basically been freaking out.
My husband will be in the room with me tomorrow though and he's going to let me bring my Moogle (if you play Final Fantasy you know what that is). But I'm still, really just, freaking out right now...