Monday, September 20, 2010

As you all know, this article has caused quite a stir with book lovers everywhere. And it spread, like wildfire. It's all over twitter, all over blogspot and it's all over tumblr

I've been sitting here all night reading everyone's post about this article. Reading stories that people are sharing about their own experiences and how this book has helped them. And I'm a bit ashamed to say, I haven't read it yet. It's been sitting in my TBR pile for months and I haven't read it. I hear how emotional and moving this novel is and I just haven't felt ready to experience that just yet. But this week, I will. 

I've heard nothing but praise for this book everywhere I turn. Yes, it's controversial and yes, it's probably something that most people don't want to hear about. But it's something that real. Something that's out there and something that can happen to anyone. This is the type of book that helps people find their voice, that comforts them and let's them know that they are not alone and that they are not hopeless. Why must we still act like rape and mental illnesses are taboo? Why must we still hush about them? Look at the way life has evolved and yet we still act like rape is not to be talked about? Why is that?

There are certain things I don't talk about because I've done so good at blocking them out of my memory that I don't remember much. I remember bits and pieces and everything is fuzzy around the edges. But there are times when I read back on my blogs or my journals from high school, where all those memories and all those events are fresh and for that moment, I remember it. I see it playing in front of my eyes and I can never believe that it was me. I went through that. That was my life. A part of me wishes she could pull that girl from that time and hug her and tell her she's worth so much more and that she'll be okay. And as soon as I hit the X or close the page, that memory is forgotten again. 

I've been abused almost my whole life. Even though I don't remember a lot of the details, my actions still reflect that abuse. I don't trust a lot of people, I quit things before I start, I feel like nothing I ever do will be enough... I always have to do more, I always have to accomplish more and it's such a crappy feeling. Being stuck like this and knowing why and knowing you can't fix it, not yet. The abuse I got from someone I loved changed my life, and it hurt me, badly. Sometimes I wish he had just killed me. Sometimes I wonder why no one bothered to stop him, even if they were standing right next to me watching it happen. 

I ended up in an abusive relationship my second to last year of high school and it was the scariest thing I've ever experienced. Every small thing set him off. At one point I had to change all of my friends names in my cell phone to their screen names just to avoid arguments. Every week he'd check my text messages. My friends knew he was "crazy" but I don't think anyone really knew what I was going through and no one believed me. I wish I had the courage to walk away sooner. I wish I had the courage to tell my mom that he wouldn't let me leave the days she would yell at me for not coming home, but I couldn't because he would watch me so I wouldn't tell the truth. I wish I had told someone, anyone what was really going on. I wish I had the courage.

But I didn't. And maybe if I had read a book like this, maybe I would have had the courage. Rape isn't something I take lightly, I can barely talk about it without getting angry. It's something that needs to be heard and not only that, but this book provides comfort to the people who can't speak out just yet. Who aren't ready, but need that support. To rob someone of that right, that right that could change their life is just wrong. 

By banning this book, it's basically telling me that if I did publish a book about abuse, if I did tell my story in hopes that it would help someone who may be in the same situation I was in, would it be banned? Would my story not be worthy of being heard? We all have stories to tell, and every story should be heard. So for that, I'm SPEAKing LOUDLY.

In honor of Speak, I'll be doing a giveaway. Leave a comment below and I'll pick a random winner on Oct 1st.

If you wrote an entry about this, please leave a link below! I'd love to read your thoughts!

Also, can I just say, I think it's amazing how the book blogging community came together and what a strong voice it has! It just amazes me! :)


  1. Hi, Marie!

    Don't enter me for the giveaway, because I already have copies of the book, and I'd like them to go to people who don't! I just wanted to stop by and thank you for speaking up about your experience with abuse. It takes a lot of courage to do that, and I respect you so much for doing it! **hugs** Great job, girl!

  2. Hello Marie
    Thanks for having the courage to blog about this and defy those who think abuse should remain unspoken and taboo. Well done for speaking up!

  3. I'm shocked at what you've gone through. Thank you for having the courage to speak about it and raise awareness.

    Please count me in if this is international.


  4. I totally agree with you. People need books like this so that they know they aren't alone. Good for you for having the courage to speak up about what you've been through.
    amandarwest at gmaildotcom

  5. *Hugs* Thank you so much for having the courage to speak up, you are a role model for all of those who don't have that courage or are afraid to speak up.


  6. I agree to all of those things you said. I'm so glad that all these bloggers are speaking out loudly about this issue!

    Thanks for the giveaway.

    cc932005 at hotmail dot com

  7. Thanks for the chance to win a banned book.
    bkhabel at gmail dot com

  8. I don't really understand what the fuss of banning books? I mean, if you don't want to read it, just don't or avoid it. It's a free world!

    darlyn225 at gmail dot com

  9. I would like to enter. And I just would like to say thank you for speaking out about this. Books like these really can help people cope with their own experiences.

  10. Don't need to enter me as I already have a copy and think someone who doesn't should get to read it. Just wanted to say what a thoughtful and interesting post this is. It really upsets me that anyone could even suggest banning a book that has helped so many people.